So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
