If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize