found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
