Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
