I hope mine doesn't look like that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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