I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
