sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
