How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Oh god it's open bar.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
