I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
