I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
