You really coming over, don't trick.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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