I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
