I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
