this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
