dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
