What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
