there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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