hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
