I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
