I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
