He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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