so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
