She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
