My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my being single is dangerous.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize