Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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