took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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