dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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