tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
