JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
