i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
