She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
