there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
