i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
