Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
