We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
