I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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