batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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