you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
