why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
