Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
