I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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