If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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