hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I died a long time ago.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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