Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
40s are totally the cure
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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