She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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