If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
