True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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