i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
