Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
how drunk are you?
Several
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
