everyone is single if you try hard enough
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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