Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So vagazzling was a success
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