i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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