he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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