yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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