yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
