she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
