accomplished twins. life is a go
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
